Resolutions

2009 is nearly 1/4 over, and I am trying to "make over" most of the important areas of my life this year, slowly but surely. Since last September I've been pretty good about exercising regularly, going to the gym at least three times each week and more whenever possible. Now that spring has arrived, there is lots of incidental exercise to be had by simply being outside with the kids and taking walks. So I'd say that part is well underway and becoming habit.

We are cancelling cable for June, July and August, so that will hopefully help break all of us, especially Andrew, of the TV habit. I don't watch much myself, but I'm addicted to letting the kids watch it so I can get other things done or simply control the chaos. This is mostly a parenting goal as opposed to a TV-weaning issue. I need to rely less on the TV in general.

Another goal is to keep this house cleaner and tidier and more organized on a more consistent basis, and to finish some projects that have been neglected. That's still a work in progress.

And finally, the eating. This has been the hardest one for me to tackle, and probably the biggest issue. I am not like other people when it comes to food. I might even be a compulsive eater. I eat too much, and I eat too much bad stuff along with the good. So I started following the South Beach Diet two weeks ago, and so far it's not been as hard as I thought it would be for someone with a major carb and sugar addiction. Two weeks in, and I've lost 13 lbs. The first two weeks are the strictest, and are supposed to result in fairly quick and dramatic weight loss. It's "Phase 2" that's the long-term phase where the loss is more slow and steady. That starts tomorrow. I am optimistic that for some reason, this diet is hopefully the last diet I'll try, because it's different from anything I've tried before. Combined with the exercise, the diet feels good and right, and I've been feeling so much better. Only about 50 more lbs. and I'll start to look better too!

Cameron's 20 months old now and his speech is really starting to pick up. There's still lots of frustration and lots of gibberish I can't understand, and some of his phrases are not the most useful ones. For example, he says: "Come on, let's go!" (sounds like "Mon! Sgo!") or "I don't know!" (sounds like "I n-no!"). Milk is "guk" and book is "gook" and bus is "butts" and cat is "dat." It's pretty funny, and pretty cute. He still seems like such a baby to me and I can't believe he's turning two in less than four months. *sniff*

Andrew at five has turned a bit of a corner, just maybe. I don't even know if I could explain it, but he just suddenly seems older and more mature. Of course, he is older and more mature, but it really almost seems like someone flipped a switch on his birthday. He's reading anything and everything he sees, which is so cool to see. His recent report card from Junior Kindergarten said he was kind and helpful with his peers and that he knows all the things he's supposed to know. The criteria for JK are pretty simple, like putting on their own shoes, knowing all their letters and letter sounds, counting to twenty, etc. I wasn't worried at all about the more academic side, but rather the social side, because who knows what your kid is like when you're not around, right? But all seems well - no complaints. He's got a couple of little friends in his class and we've had one of them over for a playdate, which was a huge success. The birthday party at the beginning of the month was a blast too - total chaos, but fun.

I think I'm just rambling now, so I'm off to bed.

This and that

We've been fighting a lot of sickness in this house of late. Two weeks ago a nasty stomach virus made its rounds to all four of us, and my poor, long-suffering mother-in-law got it too. Likely from babysitting my kids while I was sick. Not sure what I'd do without that woman around. While many women suffer through terrible in-law relationships (we've all heard horror stories), I have really come to be good friends with my MIL. Not so much my FIL, but that's another story. Anyway, we've all been sick, and now Cameron has a bad cold and Andrew is recovering from another bout with strep throat. His glands are so hard and swollen, even after three days of antibiotics, that I considered not sending him to school today. But he had no fever and was feeling well enough to torture his little brother, so off he went.

This is about the time every year that I start to complain about winter in a big way, and long for spring. It's definitely getting to me, but not quite as badly as in the past. Mostly I just miss our backyard and long, lazy afternoons spent sitting out there in the shade while the boys amuse themselves for hours by playing with the hose/buckets/sandbox/outdoor toys/inflatable pool/slide/tire swing. Aside from the occasional trip inside for drinks or popsicles, it's the easiest parenting I've ever done. I catch up on my reading; the kids get wholesome outdoor fun. Win/win. I can't wait.

Andrew's birthday is this coming weekend (FIVE!) and the party planning is in full swing. Saturday night we're having the two sets of grandparents over for dinner (barbecued hamburgers, sausages, assorted salads, homemade cake), and the next day, which is his actual birthday, we're having a big old kids' party. I'm loving that he's just now old enough to have a drop-off party, no parents invited. It's always been a bit stressful in the past to have to entertain adults while trying also to have a fun kid-friendly party. I'm sure it'll be chaos and mayhem, but hopefully it will also be fun. I've been toying with the idea of $0.18 goldfish as favours in little fishbowls from the dollar store. I'd also have to provide at least a small supply of fish food along with the fish. Will the other parents curse me for this?? I think the kids at least would love it.

We've bought a set of bunkbeds for Andrew, and will give them to him on his birthday. They're a joint gift from all the grandparents. He's often expressed a desire for them, so we'll see if he gets all sentimental about his old bed or not. We've never bought him his own bed, but just set up a twin-sized Ikea daybed that we already owned when he turned two. It's a rather girly looking bed, not that he knows or cares about that, but hopefully he'll like the bunkbeds. They're also from Ikea: the Hemnes. They'll look a bit huge in his room, which is pretty tiny, but he may eventually one day move into the larger spare room, or we may buy my in-laws' house, which has larger bedrooms. It also allows for the possibility of room sharing when Cameron is a bit bigger, which is also an option.

As predicted

Just as I suspected, after night-weaning Cameron, my cycles have returned in full force with the arrival of my period last Friday, January 23. Almost exactly 18 months postpartum, and four months earlier than with Andrew since I night-weaned him when he was slightly older.

I must write an entry very soon about my non-stop inner monologue regarding having three kids or not. Either way, some sort of reliable birth control method is in my very near future.

Winter

We are having an incredibly lazy afternoon around here, and I have relaxed all the rules. We've eaten junk and watched TV, going on three hours now. Yikes. We did go to playgroup this morning and walk to the bakery after Cameron's nap (hence the junk-eating), but otherwise we've been housebound couch potatoes. I guess we're entitled to a day like this every now and then, especially when we need to get through two more months of winter.

Actually, so far this winter hasn't been getting me down as much as usual. Possible causes are a) I'm exercising regularly and b) Andrew's in school some days, so that means I don't have to constantly entertain him and we get out of the house because we have to walk to and from school. Cameron is more high maintenance right now, but he's also perfectly happy to just play at home with all his brother's toys.

Chris has built and flooded a rink in our backyard, and it was up and running by Christmas day (did I mention this already? If so, sorry!). Every chance they get, he and Andrew are out there skating or just messing around. So for the first winter of his life, Andrew has seen more than his fair share of winter outdoor time. Actually, they started skiing last winter, so maybe last year there was lots of outdoor time too. But in any case, now it's pretty much daily when you factor in recess time at school. It makes a big difference to his behaviour, obviously, and all our sanity. I'm usually not so keen on being outside much during the winter months, to say the least.

I've been doing some thinking and advance planning about Andrew's upcoming fifth birthday party. I think this is the year we'll make it kids-only, no parents (well, aside from us of course). He wants to invite a handful of school friends, and a few non-school friends from playgroups and whatnot. I think the total number will be about 7 or 8. We've booked a guy who does a funny balloon-animal routine. He was at a birthday party we attended last summer, and all the kids, ages 3 to 8, thought it was great. So that's the main entertainment. The party hours are 1 to 4, which bypasses any meal times, so I thought just snacks (pretzels, veggies and dip, fruit, chips, etc) would be fine, with cake and ice cream at the end. Once they all have a sugar high, send 'em home!

We're thinking of getting him a bunk bed for his birthday. Since he turned two and moved out of our bed, he's slept in this white iron daybed (Ikea's Tromsnes) that's rather girly. It's just something we had in our 2nd bedroom in Toronto, so we used it rather than buy something new for him. But now he loves bunk beds and really wants them. And then we could set up his old bed in Cameron's room since the crib does nothing but hold clean diapers. I can use a laundry basket for that, and start transitioning Cameron to his own room by laying in the twin bed with him. Can you tell I'm just thinking out loud now??

Buried under a pile of brightly coloured plastic

Christmas here was a total whirlwind and (it has to be said) more stressful than fun this year. My inlaws got married on Dec. 25th (shotgun, she age 17 and he age 20, year 1957, quite a story) and so this year was their 50th wedding anniversary. The whole clan gathered to celebrate with them, some of whom were put up at our house. A large party was planned for Boxing Day, and I was the main person on the ground here organizing it. And I also hosted Xmas eve dinner for my own family. And had to maintain a clean(ish) house, no small feat for me, especially with Cameron working against me every waking moment. It was a bit nutty, and it flew by and the dust is still settling around here - literally and figuratively. Nevertheless, I think the boys loved it all, and enjoyed their teenage cousins immensely and vice versa. One low point: walking into the den at my inlaws' house to find my nephew showing Andrew how to play Grand Theft Auto. A high point: Andrew sitting entranced watching his 18-year-old cousin Josh play guitar for an entire hour. We still haven't found a home for the avalanche of new toys and books that came our way. Everyone is exceedingly generous towards our children at Christmas, which is nice, but...but...seriously, there are now more toys "on rotation" in the garage than in the house. Time for a major purge, methinks.

Commence round three of night-weaning. Last night was the third night of the third round, and this time there's a difference: I've moved into the spare room. Night one was pretty bad, night two was quite good (5 am was the first wakeup) and last night was pretty bad again. Not sure how things will go tonight. Of course, I can hear everything and it breaks my heart. But at least he's not alone in there; he's got a nice, warm furry daddy to cuddle him. Problem is, the nice warm furry daddy is rather short on patience in the dead of night, so I'm not sure how long I'll be able to get away with this. But even if I move back in, the boobs will remain firmly under wraps and unaccessible. I'm not sure when I got so hard-hearted about this, but I guess I've just hit a wall. I feel a bit guilty, but mostly just determined. Next on the agenda: a twin mattress on the floor of his room to replace the never-used crib. Or, possibly, cosleeping siblings if we're feeling really brave. Yikes.

I'm still pretty good about my gym attendance, although I have let it slide somewhat over the Christmas chaos. I was back regularly this past week and when I didn't get a chance to go today, I whipped out a pilates DVD here at home after the kids went to bed. Not bad, not bad. I could still stand to go more often and work harder while there, and the eating thing obviously has gotten ahead of me over the holidays. No excuses left now. Feel free to kick my ass if I come back here in a couple (read: several) weeks with more excuses.

Also on the agenda is to download, oh, about four months' worth of photos off the camera (damn giant MB memory card) and get them onto Flickr or at least Facebook. I wouldn't say I have any New Year's Resolutions per se, but taking better care of myself and by extension my kids and my marriage is something I'm striving for in 2009 and beyond. I could probably stand to clean more too. Perhaps in 2010.

Untitled

I don't understand when other "mommy bloggers" find the time to write frequent blog posts. I'm sure I could manage more than one every two to four weeks if I tried harder, but daily? Forget it. And besides, my life isn't interesting enough to warrant daily posts.

My dear husband is in L.A., returning tomorrow after four days there. He was kind enough to call this afternoon to inform me that he was headed to Venice Beach, while I froze my butt off here in -8C weather. Nice. Not to mention the nights he's spent all alone in a king-sized bed in a nice hotel. I'd better not hear too much complaining about jet lag and tiredness from him in the days after his return home. No sympathy here!

Has anyone ever declawed an older cat? We are rapidly approaching that decision, despite the fact that our cat is 11 years old. He's always been a great pet in all ways except the fact that he destroys furniture and carpets. When we moved into this house three years ago, we bought two new sofas. He's ruined the arm of one of them, completely gutted the back of an old hand-me-down that I plan to reupholster or slipcover anyway, and destroyed two area rugs by pulling tufts out all over the place. I just bought a nice, new rug that is one I really hope to have for a long time, and I'm tired of things being ruined and having to keep blankets over the arms of the sofas. Scratching posts and other scratching toys are met with disdain and ignored. I feel horribly guilty, but I feel like this is our final option short of giving him away, which I really don't want to do. So he has an appointment for Dec. 19, and unless the guilt gets the better of me before then, we're going ahead with it.

About three weeks ago, I up and decided to night-wean Cameron. I had been wanting to for some time, and just kept putting it off, imagining that he'd be very resistant and LOUD, and that either the whole house would be kept awake or that I'd repeatedly give in to him. So one night when I was especially tired and fed up with the every-other-hour wakings to nurse, I just decided that that was it. He was mad, so mad. But mad I can handle; sad would have broken my heart. The next night was worse, and then over the following two nights, things got better. The soother was a huge help. At first he'd get mad and throw it, but then when he realized it was his only option, he'd at least hold it in his hand while still complaining. There was one blissful night of sleep from 8 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. And then he got sick. And it wasn't just a cold, but some weird virus that gave him sores inside his mouth and on his lips. Not only would he not take his soother because it bothered his mouth, but he went on a nearly 24-hour nursing strike and wouldn't drink much of anything, so when he was willing to nurse while sleeping/dozing, I was elated that he was finally taking in some fluids. And that's when the night-weaning went out the window when it had only just started. So as of last night, I am trying again. The problem is, ever since his weird illness, he's rejected the soother almost completely and so that's no longer an option. So it might be harder this time. But I will stick it out, not only because I am so tired and getting such horrible, interrupted sleep, but because I am paranoid of causing the same sort of dental issues that Andrew had, which were almost certainly caused by prolonged night-nursing. So that is my night-weaning saga. I can only hope that the next time I write here, he's sleeping through.

Of course, one side-effect of night-weaning will be that I will likely finally get me cycles back. I guess I am one of those rare women that has prolonged lactational amenorrhea, and my cycles seem to be kept at bay as long as I am breastfeeding a child at night. I went 22 months with no periods after Andrew was born, and the month after I night-weaned him, my cycles returned like clockwork. So, I suppose I should think about some sort of birth control. Long-term birth control, but not permanent birth control. I've heard good things about Mirena, the IUD that is hormonal (but apparently much less hormones than the pill), and that is currently my leading choice. We are not ready to say that we're 100% done yet, and at 34 I am almost too old for the pill and I don't think I'd remember to take it properly at this point anyway. Also not a fan of the side effects. Any experience with the Mirena out there, or recommendations for other methods? It's been a long, long time since I had to worry about this. And let's face it - with Cameron up every two hours and Chris spending most nights in the guest room, pregnancy fears have been minimal lately, if you know what I mean.

I've been quite good about going to the gym regularly since I joined nearly two months ago. I try to go every chance I get. I go every Tuesday and Thursday while Andrew is in school. I drop off Cameron with my mother-in-law and hit the gym for an hour of cardio and a few weights. I try to go both weekend days, but often we're too busy and I end up going only one day on the weekend. So at the very least I'm going three days a week, and often four or five times. The more the merrier. I recently tried pilates for the first time, and my abs and hip muscles hurt for days afterwards - a good thing! I'm trying to do the class weekly so we'll see if my core strength improves. I also have some exercise DVDs that a friend loaned me that I'd like to try on days I can't get to the gym, but I'd have to be able to see the floor of the playroom to be able to do them. Next up, an overhaul in my eating habits. Nothing groundbreaking, just smaller portions and better choices. I feel sometimes like I eat constantly when I'm home "all day" with the kid(s), and that has to stop. Of course, this is the hardest time of year to attempt a change like this. But there's no point putting it off until after the new year. I've been putting it off for years.

Wow, I feel like I'm tackling the big life topics today. My head hurts and so I'm going to bed to read. Am I the only co-sleeping parent who turns the light on after my child is asleep in my bed so that I can read?? I love reading in bed.

Ho hum

I have added a very incomplete blog list that for some reason turns up at the very bottom of the page where you have to scroll way down to find it. I have tons more that I read and check regularly, but until I figure out how to move it to a more convenient location, it will remain incomplete. I tried to do a big blog overhaul a few weeks ago (hence the new name, House Arrest, which is what I wanted to call it in the first place), but it didn't entirely pan out. I would start over if I could, but I'd never get around to transferring all my archives (not that there's too much) over to a new site. Is it possible to just change the url from chroniclesofhome without starting a whole new blog?? I hate the name, really. [Edited to add: I have figured out how to move my blog list up, but now it won't let me add more. Someday I will get this whole thing sorted out.]

Anyway, so far I am doing quite well in my gym attendance. I try to go at least every other day, and I have yet to miss more than two in a row. Things got tricky with Chris away all last weekend and into the beginning of this week, but I managed to foist my kids onto my mother-in-law on Saturday and head for the treadmill. I tried the rowing machine today for the first time, and while I liked the change, I didn't feel very winded at all after 20 minutes. I think the bike, treadmill and elliptical will be my primary sources of cardio, and I will alternate a few weight machines each time I go. It's really just a matter of making it a priority. Today, for example, I had a small window from 3:30 until 5 free, with Chris home and nothing going on, so off I went even though it wasn't necessarily convenient (house in a tip, dinner not planned or started). I have yet to get my iPod up and running (more technical difficulties - I swear I'm not a total tech spaz, I can surf the internet like nobody's business).

Cameron has a cold and two new teeth, which means I've been getting very little sleep lately. Man, that boy could wake the dead with all the yelling and whining at night. He doesn't just whimper quietly when he stirs, he starts yelling immediately. Even though I'm inches away. I really need to night-wean him soon, as he has six teeth total now, four on top, and I am hyper-paranoid about causing the same tooth issues we dealt with with Andrew. But I'm chicken, because he's way more needier at night and more demanding and vocal in general, and I hate to think what it would take to night-wean him. Chris and Andrew might have to check into a hotel for the duration, because things would get loud. The thought terrifies me.

This is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and we really have no plans aside from just showing up to any turkey dinner being offered. We'll hit my parents' house tomorrow night, and Chris's parents' house on Sunday night. I am planning on hitting the gym tomorrow morning and Monday morning to make up for the large quantities of turkey and stuffing I intend to consume.

Our national election is on Tuesday, and I will be working as a poll clerk, crossing off the names of electors who have voted as they come in, helping to count ballots, and whatever else. Not sure how I got roped into this (Chris was definitely involved), but I will get paid a couple hundred dollars. I only hope it's worth it, as I will be at the poll station (actually the gym at Andrew's school) from 8:30 in the morning until about 11 at night. I have to bring my own food and drinks, and take only brief bathroom and meal breaks. My mother-in-law will be with Cameron during the day until Chris gets home at about dinner time to relieve her, and she'll also have to pick Andrew up from school. My only real worry is that this will be the longest I've ever been away from Cameron, and I'm not sure how he'll manage as the day and evening draw on. Chris is capable of putting him to bed, so that shouldn't be too difficult, but I expect him to be extra clingy in the days following the election. I've definitely been asking myself "Why am I doing this again??" as I try and work out the logistics and organize things for that day.

MY GOD this is a boring post, so I'll end here. Happy Thanksgiving!